Home Away From Home

We place too much of a stigma on homelessness. I was thinking the other day about how a person could lead a satisfying life containing most earthy comforts with no more than an ok job, an SUV or van and a gym membership. Maybe not even a gym membership if you play your cards right. You would have to live by yourself, and it would be easier for guys than girls I suppose, but it is possible. If you take all but the front two rows of seats out, you could fit a very small table, a comfortable folding planet chair or two, and a few of those rolling plastic drawer things for clothes. You could sleep shotgun, and have the second row for guests or whatever. The gym membership should give you access to a good locker room, complete with showers, sinks, toilets and your own personal locker. Preferably, it would be a 24 hour gym, with private showers. All hygiene items (toothbrush/paste, razor, towel etc...) can be stored in your locker, and you could take care of all hygiene related things here. I actually read a book once where one of the characters secretly lives in a gym, and it works pretty good for him. And then, of course, the job to pay for all of this. You would have to eat out all the time or buy pre cooked food, but that wouldn't be all so bad. This lifestyle would mean giving up a few material things, but not many. You could still have CD and DVD, you'd have space for one or two hobbies, more if your hobbies don't take up much space... You would just have to get used to living smaller and using public facilities (library or hospital for computers, internet access, gym, restaurants...) Some things might get expensive, but in the end you would actually save money- no mortage, energy/water bills, tax, garbage bills, telemarketers, solicitors... Plus, think of the mobility. All that is required to move is a new gym membership. Also, you could get by temporarily by going to any self-respecting athletic center. Hmm... I'm almost convincing myself to try it, but not quite. Makes for a fun think though.

Laughs from the family...

Humor from Knave:
I always check the obituaries to see if I have to go into work or not.
That's funnier than an ejector seat in a helicopter.
That's funnier than a screen door in a submarine.

Humor from Carebear:
That's funnier than a handicapped parking space at an ice rink.

Dead Serious Statement from Dairy Farm:
A headache is a pain in the head.

(Keep watching- someday that boy will be a rocket scientist.)

New Year, New Policy

Hiya... I regret to inform all my concerned readers that in spite of all my anticipation and planning and such, I did not have the most enjoyable Christmas. Acutally, the first half went rather well, Dairy Farm and I won two straight games of pool, one from a scratch and one from pure undeniable skill, beating out Aunt: Armed and Masked with her boyfriend Knave and my sis Carebear teamed up w/ my father's father. Dinner also was splendid, although the ham didn't make enough juice for gravy, so we had to settle for store bought. Nothing in the world is better than a good ham gravy. I finished my scarf while the older women washed dishes, then we all did presents. This is when things started downhill. I recieved a new perfume set, and promptly tried it on. A few minutes later I had a headache and I started to get really cold. I felt horrible the rest of the day and only a little better the day after, and I can't stand the smell of my new perfume anymore. Hopefully New Years goes better.

Oh, and there is a *New Policy*. Any comment containing my real name will be promptly copied, edited and reposted. Darselo and Darselo VanderBeanie will be acceptable substitutions. Anyone who repeatedly breaks this policy will be given a very disagreeable fake name on this blog. Thank you for your cooperation.

Be Grateful For Your Name

Sometimes a name change is the best idea...

Comic Relief

Got a bunch of funny pics in one of those forward e-mails, and decided to post them here and there...

Major dilemma in California.

Your choices are College of the Siskiyous or "downtown" Weed.

Top Holiday Songs

While we are on Christmas, I suppose I had better make a list. The subject? My personal favorites in the Christmas song department. I will limit myself to 15, and they do not go in any particular order.

1. Christmas Bells - The Royal Guardsmen (not complete w/out first listening to the 2 songs preceding it on the record, as well as the band's comic spoof of WWI radio.
2. Sleigh Ride- The Ventures (they can make guitars hit some pretty low notes)
3. O Holy Night- Various (it needs a voice- its not as good instrumentally)
4. Silver Bells- Various (the older versions, Bing's and the Supremes' I think)
5. The Merry Christmas Polka- Forgot (get sugar high, grab a sibling, and polka)
6. Silent Night- Various (i guess my fave is the one w/ the low voiced lady who keeps throwing in "well it was a..." but is so easy to harmonize to)
7. What Child is This/Greensleves- Various (only hear it once a year)
8. We Three Kings- Manaheim Steam Roller (just so cool)
9. Adorar al Nino- Various (sing in Spanish, sticks in the head)
10. Ukranian Bell Carol- Various (hard to play, even with lower-level music)
11. Please Christmas Don't Be Late- Alvin and the Chipmunks (fun to sing to)
12. Ring the Bells- Various (sooo pretty)
13. While Shepards Watched their Flocks By Night- Various
14. You Yust Go Nuts At Christmas- Forgot
15. The Gift- Aselin Debelin? (Makes me cry every time I hear it, which isn't often. It's a happily ever after Carolina!!!!!! )

One more list, this time of favorite Christmas artists.

1. Manaheim Steamroller
2. Trans-Siberian Orchestra
3. The Louvin Brothers
4. The Ventures
5. Booker T and the MGs

With that, I wish you all a happy blessed Christmas and the ability to feel like a kid again for one day. To be able to lay down responsibilities and worries and participate fully in whatever celebrations you take part in.

A van der Beanie Christmas...

Being that this is probably my family's favorite Christmas song (note: I didn't say carol) and that we listen to this song on a record, one can reasonably conclude that my family likes music that isn't quite ordinary. Our favorite Christmas album happens to be by the Ventures. They take perfectly normal and legit Christmas carols and blend in songs like Tequila and My Marie to make a lovely instrumental collection. They were geniuses on guitar, they really were. Get the album from the library sometime. And visit that link.
I don't care what anybody says about the overcommercialization of Christmas, I still get a warm fuzzy feeling from carols, family, whoopee pies and hot chocolate. I love lights, making Christmas stuff, poinsettas and snow. I love having at least one chapter of the Bible memorized by New Years because it gets read so much. I love candycanes. So there.
And I think it is utterly ridiculous that the mega-churches are closing for Christmas on Sunday. In their own peculiar language: It's Christ's party. You're invited. It's at HIS house. Savvy?

Dialing all tabletops!

"Soursalt" will always be "bittersweet" to me, b/c of a certain devastating "first time- twisted knee- ride left w/out me" incident. Whenever I go there now, I always break out in a cold sweat on the ride there, and my stomach gets queasy. Once I hook up w/ Brooke or whoever, I'm fine, but I always get soo nervous. Goes to show how powerful the mind is. It's been 3-4 years now, and I still subconsiously recall the absolute terror. I'm just fine at Artillerytown. Anyways, it still ended up being a good time. I acheived two of my goals for this year's snowboarding season: I didn't fall coming off the lifts except for once when I had to put my knee down, and I conquered my fears of the tabletop. Not that I got huge air, or landed everything, but I got used to the feel of it and gained some landing confidence. Knowing you are physically capable of doing something makes doing it a whole lot easier. It was the first time I was out on my own board this year too. I found out at Artillery that my junior size bindings would not fit my new boots. (I bought the wrong size boots last year, size 6 as opposed to 7, so I had to put thinner liners in them, so they fit the tiny bindings that came w/ the board.) So anywayz I ended up getting a pair of last year's model Morrow Dimensions, with good solid plastic even my dad thought was quality. Anways, it was the first time out with my full gear, and I am pleased and infinitely relieved to say everything works and feels fine. I went out w/ my bro, Dairy Farm (a.k.a Manuel, chair lift partner of Dorito) to his little terrain park in the woods behind my house, and my board had felt weird, so I was a bit worried about it. But I quote Carolina... "It all came together." Not so for (I quote B. Raisin) "gentle giant" Dorito, who broke ANOTHER baseplate. Luckily, the ski shop guy was able to put it back in useable condition.
Besides boarding, I also got to catch up with peeps I haven't seen in a while, and I don't think I did anything stupid which is a step up from last year. I wore my white GDSU sweatshirt under my coat, and when I go to eat my hotdog it's ketchup all over, first thing, but that is only to be expected. This is a bit random, but I notice that the ski corral dude from last year was back again. The hispanic dude w/ the blonde highlights that looks like J.Rosie... Pretty cute, reminds me of A.E., but that's a whole nother post.
They played oldies the whole night, so I got to hear a bunch of songs I hadn't heard in forever. I went through an oldies phase somewhere around 9th grade. Still like 'em, but ever since the oldies station changed hands I stopped listening to them on the radio. So I only hear the ones my dad has in his extensive CD collection. Anyways, other than the above mentioned things, the night was pretty average, so I might as well make a list of my past Soursalt experiences. I like lists, if you haven't figured that out yet. They are a lot more organized than my writing.

• Learing (sort of) to ski, not knowing proper stopping procedure and ending up a foot away from the lodge.
• Twisting my knee real bad trying to turn without knowing proper turning procedure. My *ahem* "friends" did not wait for me, and I didn't see them the rest of the night.
• Having to ride home w/ the now Mrs. Little and a bunch of older boys b/c the same "friends" didn't wait for me afterwards either. (Yeah, I'm bitter.)
• Learing to ski w/ TB in a formal lesson. Incidentally, Manuel learned to snowboard during this time. On his $25 dollar what-we-now-know-is-one-of-the-earliest-Burtons board. More on that in the forthcoming Artillery list.
• Coming with Brooke for the first time, and the endearing sensation of having someone waiting for you at the bottom of the hill.
• Brooke playing chicken and me subsequently playing limbo with the lifts. That girl is nuts, and that Hawthorn lift is crazy fast.
• My first tabletop try. Keeps me humble to this day. I got just enough speed so my board reached the top, then I slowly started back down, fell on my back, rolled awkwardly off the side and ended in a heap on the ground. I didn't try it again that year.
• Landing my first airs- I went of the sides of one of the jumps farther down the hill, but b/c of the tabletop incident under the anonymifying cover of darkness.
• Falling getting off the ski lift, hitting the people's shed thing, and the stoner inside completely missing the whole episode. I fell right against his door, and he didn't stop the lift or anything. Brooke gets a lot of laughs at my expense on these little outings, btw.
• I was minding my own business when some dude behind me yells "Watch Out!" or something. I'm not about to look behind me b/c I wasn't exactly at a standstill, so I just stop carving and go straight, thinking anyone on a blue square hill can steer. Two seconds later, a well-fed young man who had apparently been bombing down the hill clipped my snowboard from behind, and we both ended up on the ground. He lost his hat, and I luckily got a whole bunch of snow in it when I fell. I didn't have the presense of mind to direct him not-so-nicely back to the bunny hill, as I now wish I would have. I think I said sorry, although it wasn't my fault.
• I was sitting on this same hill on the same night, chilling w/ Brooke and fam, when all of a sudden some dude just ollies over me. Just "BAM!" and some dude is landing right in front of me. Gave me the willies.
• Oh yes, and when recounting this year's adventures, I forgot to mention the two times I came withing 2 inches of a serious collision. 7bergen and I started down the hill at the same time, and he carved right in front of me, so I had to sit down fast or knock him over. Just missed him. Then Brooke and I were cutting over to another hill and some dude about took us both out. I was in front, and she was just behind and a bit to the right of me. This guy comes zipping right smack dab in between us. One more inch on either side and it could have been a painful experience.

Anyways, that's all for now, but I have a lot of stuff to post, and I might even have time what with it being Christmas break and all... Yay!

Hospital

Volunteered tonight at the hospital. Always eventful but today set a record, I believe. A list:

• Arrive, sign in, sit down... Dispatcher-that-can't-remember-names (The DTC RN) forgets my name again. I am engrossed in my Spanish homework. They finally make a combined effort and get my attention. "Oh, what?" #1. (Note: Must learn to respond to "Volunteer".) Apparantly she also calls by color worn. There is one girl who seems to go by "You in the blue."
• First discharge, definately wrong number, as the area specified is in the operating section. Go to where I think right place is, # is right, name is wrong. Go back, check number w/ the DTC RN, and verify that I guessed right. Get patient, patient is older woman who cannot weigh more than 80 pounds.
• While waiting with the lady for her ride, overhear another dischargee w/ baby talking w/ her discharger about how they almost forgot to take her baby's alarm off which would have caused a hospital lockdown. That would have been... interesting.
• Next discharge. I have my chair and I'm in the elevator. (I have bad habit of just walking out when the elevator stops, without checking the floor #.) The elevator stops, and I walk out. Almost get flattened by a cute over-eager intern with a double decker loaded cart who shares another of my bad elevator habits: assuming it's empty. We exchange sorries, and I go on to find out that I am on the wrong floor. Get back on elevator, thinking that it would be very embarassing and ironic if I would see the intern on the floor I was going to. Elevator door opens, and there is intern, waiting for the elevator. It was embarassing, ironic, and looking back, mildly funny. I did have the wits to notice that the young man had learned a lesson from the event- he was waiting the approach of the elevator from a safe distance.
• Reach room, forgot cart.
• Reach room again, everything goes normally. Get to main lobby and wind up standing for 10 minutes holding a vase of rather bulky flowers. Mea culpa, though.
• Off to lunch with Brooke and Deere. Brooke gets her normal ice cream and complains of being cold. Me: "Even after ice cream?" Stunned silence, then inquiries about my mental health.
• Back to dispatch room. Finish Spanish, start magazine. "Oh, what?" #2. And the DTC RN even had my name right.
• Off on dispatch, nice old man, all goes smooth and quickly until we get in confusion about where his relatives are parked. La puerta front is empty, and his relatives got a 10 min head start. Go to la puerta del corazon, still no relatives. We are kept from boredom by a mysterious Geo, whose driver has abandoned it. This is quite puzzling and disturbing to the valet parking guy, who did not notice the arrival of the car nor the departure of the driver although he faithfully keeps a constant watch- part of the much loved universal valet parking person's code.
• The relatives of my patient materialize. They have been parked just out of sight. I wheel him out and get him squared away, and on return smile at the valet guy. (I'm always in a good mood at the hospital, so I'm always smiling.) "Sorry you had to wheel him out so far," he says. I thought that was rather sweet, seeing as it was somewhere around 25-30 ft and not that big of a deal. So I know have a nameless aquaintance with two valet guys (the valet guy at the front helped me out in a complicated cart/chair/revolving door situation). I also have a more involved but still nameless aquaintance with the lady security guard at TCTC. I have special drop-off parking priveledges, and we exchange greetings regularly. It's nice having friends in higher places. Lol.
• Back to room, on the way receiving a "Hi" from a random person. "Oh, what?" # 3, this time with good natured laughter.

1. And that is the end of my list. There were other things to write, but I forget them, other than that I want to formally recognize Erika (whose fake name will be coming shortly. Didn't think Ricka from Flicka, Ricka and Dicka was gonna cut it. Suggestion?) Anyways, wanted to formally recognize her for being my sole commenter. *The most thundrous applause one person can produce* Thanks a bunch! :D

Photograph

I'm listening to the new Nickelback song, Photograph, and feel the need to just say how disgusted I am with good writers for taking the little step that makes a song go from class to crass. By this, I mean putting in profanity. It really is not cool. In my opinion it is degrading to the writer- they are showing they need to put in filler words, or be shocking so their work has appeal. I don't just mean songs either. Bathroom talk, okay, still crass but tolerable. But why profanity people, WHY? You are just insulting your talents. Instead of "crappy", invent something "snappy". And yeah, I know that was tacky.
I love Photograph, I really can't help it... It touches the heartstrings. It's not your run of the mill song: it has an original theme, it has somewhat of a point, it does not degrade my gender and the music video is very well done. All of which are very rare in this decade. But I can never listen to it with a clear conscience. I hate feeling like I should hit the mute button. If they could just take out two words, it would be perfection. Someday I'll get me a big 'ol soundboard/system thingy and learn to edit songs and movies so I can salvage some of the strokes of genius I encounter. Yup, right after I learn to burn CD's off of tapes and records, how to successfully use audio files in any HTML/CSS format, and become the 345th person to fly to the moon.

Good things come in pairs they say...

So what do the bad things come in. Today was no better than yesterday. Not only is the world against me, but I also can take comfort in the knowledge that I am definately stupid.
The UGLY:

1. Forgot to print essay. Dyke said I could e-mail it to her. Put address in book. Forgot book.
2. Missed assignment in Brit Lit.
3. Left a couple questions blank on the Bible quiz.
4. As I noted before, I didn't know the rounding on my accounting test. -28 1/2, C-, worst grade I've ever gotten on a test.
5. Getting a 3.7 cumulative GPA, need 3.8 by semester to get Presidential Scholarship... nooooot good.
6. Still have to do the announcement at Music night.
7. Brit Lit test to do.
8. I can't relax over the weekend because every waking moment must be spent selling candy and doing accounting plus whatever other school drudgery I may recieve. Wanna buy a box of candy or nuts?

I'm seriously going crazy here. I stay up late doing homework, and don't get quite enough sleep, so I loose an hour every day, so I start forgetting things, not being alert and it all falls apart. College will probably kill me.