I can't dance... trust me, I'm not just saying that.
So yeah... the third to last first cousin was safely married off today. I wish nothing but the best for them, I've always been on friendly terms with her, and the guy she picked always has a smile and a friendly greeting for young in-laws. Even AFTER going out to eat with all of us MORE than one time. This requires a certain degree of good-naturedness, patience, and manly fortitude, as the wait for the food seems to bring out the worst of the sick humor in the Vanderbeanies.
The ceremony was cute, quick, and everything Non-Netherlands Reformed that a ceremony presided over by a youth pastor of a mega-church with a shiny eagle on the back of his tux would be expected to be. (Note to self: strapless dresses are not fit for human consumption.) The church was HUGE- think VanAndel. But anyways, we got through all right. Then came the reception. I...survived. They say time heals all wounds.
We rode with our aunt, the mother of the bride, so we arrived first. It was pretty, so once we had the seating arrangement settled, I got down to business with my cameras. I wanted to get the whole scene in the picture, so I climbed up to the second story balcony. I flipped over my camera case to get it out, forgetting I had batteries for the digi-cam stored in it, leading to a battery-based carpet bombing of the ground floor. Luckily, nobody was there yet, and they fell harmlessly. With that encouraging start, I decided to sit down, shut up, and wait for the food. Nothing, I repeat, Nothing (except perhaps a baseball game or Chicago traffic) goes slower than a wedding reception. After 20 minutes, the bridal party showed up. There was a mad rush for the cash bar, then a formal seating of the bridal party. 20 minutes later the white-uniformed servers brought out water. After another 20 minutes we were given bread baskets. Then a couple ding-and-kiss sequences, and the salad. A twenty minute wait, broken up by some scattered camera fire and more ding-and-kiss, and the main course. Garnishing the stuffed lasagna??? was some sliced summer squash and zucchini. If there is one thing you can't accuse me of, it's being vegetarian, and to kill time during the seemingly endless wait for the dessert buffet, I amused myself by pushing all the slices into a green-yellow pattern around the edge of my plate. I was one of the first to patronize the "coffee station," and was just relaxing with a pretty strong cuppa when I hear a rather droll, "Nice design." I had forgotten about that, and was rather embarrased as the bald, Simple-Plan bassist look-alike waiter smiled indulgently and asked me if I was through with my plate. Heh-heh... "Yup, thanks." Anways, the Cannoli and Tiramisu course passes peacefully, until the sound guy throws in a left turn. "Okay folks, now it's time for Mr. and Mrs. D's first dance as a married couple. This would be my first dancing wedding, btw. Next was the bridal party, then *shudder* snowballing time. Everyone on the floor had to grab someone from the tables. Unaware of my peril, I laughed when the super-tall bridesmaid grabbed some little boy of her aquaintance. Then came the second snowball round. I had a slight apprehension, and was keeping my gaze focused away from the dance floor, my attention concentrated on my water glass. Then *BAM!* Two hands on my shoulders and an unfamiliar male voice, "Okay darlin, let's go!" (OH NO, NONONONONONONO, ^&*()*^, PLEASE, PLEASE, NO! GAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!) "Heheh... ahahaha... I really can't dance..."
"Oh, that's okay, I can't either!" *Grins* (GAAAAAHHHH!!!! WRONG RESPONSE BUSTER!!!! I'm NOT kidding... I've never danced in my life- at least not successfully, or in public. Apparantly he was one of the twins in the bridal party who were next-door neighbors to the groom.)
"Uh, okay..."
So I get up in a daze and we sorta bounce around to "Me and My Gang", I go for a twirl thing, which we kinda pull off, then he tries the 'ol country kick thing, with some success, I half-heartedly try it, then I guess he realized I hadn't been kidding him, and we sorta just shuffled around for a while and watched the 3 or 4 people who were actually dancing, and kinda joked around about not being able to dance. Then the song changed and he nicely let me go sit down. "Thank you!" Soon after we left, with me totally freaked out. I mean, I'm not really used to the whole dancing thing. As I told the dude, most people's dancing ablility is direcly correlated to blood alchohol level, and mine wasn't elevated. Also, I've seriously never danced before, at least not with non-brother guys anywhere near, much less WITH non-brother guys. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! But oh well, several key witnesses told me I did fine, and I shouldn't ever run into the dude again because he lives in Chicago, and, of course, time heals all wounds. Still, I can't stop laughing at myself, him, and the whole shebang.
After that we left, watched the skaters downtown, and took a look at Gerald Ford's memorial, which was kinda cool, first time I've ever seen a full-size general-public tribute up close like that.
GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! How am I EVER going to get to sleep again with that whole episode playing around in my mind?! It's bad enough with all my high-school memories.
The ceremony was cute, quick, and everything Non-Netherlands Reformed that a ceremony presided over by a youth pastor of a mega-church with a shiny eagle on the back of his tux would be expected to be. (Note to self: strapless dresses are not fit for human consumption.) The church was HUGE- think VanAndel. But anyways, we got through all right. Then came the reception. I...survived. They say time heals all wounds.
We rode with our aunt, the mother of the bride, so we arrived first. It was pretty, so once we had the seating arrangement settled, I got down to business with my cameras. I wanted to get the whole scene in the picture, so I climbed up to the second story balcony. I flipped over my camera case to get it out, forgetting I had batteries for the digi-cam stored in it, leading to a battery-based carpet bombing of the ground floor. Luckily, nobody was there yet, and they fell harmlessly. With that encouraging start, I decided to sit down, shut up, and wait for the food. Nothing, I repeat, Nothing (except perhaps a baseball game or Chicago traffic) goes slower than a wedding reception. After 20 minutes, the bridal party showed up. There was a mad rush for the cash bar, then a formal seating of the bridal party. 20 minutes later the white-uniformed servers brought out water. After another 20 minutes we were given bread baskets. Then a couple ding-and-kiss sequences, and the salad. A twenty minute wait, broken up by some scattered camera fire and more ding-and-kiss, and the main course. Garnishing the stuffed lasagna??? was some sliced summer squash and zucchini. If there is one thing you can't accuse me of, it's being vegetarian, and to kill time during the seemingly endless wait for the dessert buffet, I amused myself by pushing all the slices into a green-yellow pattern around the edge of my plate. I was one of the first to patronize the "coffee station," and was just relaxing with a pretty strong cuppa when I hear a rather droll, "Nice design." I had forgotten about that, and was rather embarrased as the bald, Simple-Plan bassist look-alike waiter smiled indulgently and asked me if I was through with my plate. Heh-heh... "Yup, thanks." Anways, the Cannoli and Tiramisu course passes peacefully, until the sound guy throws in a left turn. "Okay folks, now it's time for Mr. and Mrs. D's first dance as a married couple. This would be my first dancing wedding, btw. Next was the bridal party, then *shudder* snowballing time. Everyone on the floor had to grab someone from the tables. Unaware of my peril, I laughed when the super-tall bridesmaid grabbed some little boy of her aquaintance. Then came the second snowball round. I had a slight apprehension, and was keeping my gaze focused away from the dance floor, my attention concentrated on my water glass. Then *BAM!* Two hands on my shoulders and an unfamiliar male voice, "Okay darlin, let's go!" (OH NO, NONONONONONONO, ^&*()*^, PLEASE, PLEASE, NO! GAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!) "Heheh... ahahaha... I really can't dance..."
"Oh, that's okay, I can't either!" *Grins* (GAAAAAHHHH!!!! WRONG RESPONSE BUSTER!!!! I'm NOT kidding... I've never danced in my life- at least not successfully, or in public. Apparantly he was one of the twins in the bridal party who were next-door neighbors to the groom.)
"Uh, okay..."
So I get up in a daze and we sorta bounce around to "Me and My Gang", I go for a twirl thing, which we kinda pull off, then he tries the 'ol country kick thing, with some success, I half-heartedly try it, then I guess he realized I hadn't been kidding him, and we sorta just shuffled around for a while and watched the 3 or 4 people who were actually dancing, and kinda joked around about not being able to dance. Then the song changed and he nicely let me go sit down. "Thank you!" Soon after we left, with me totally freaked out. I mean, I'm not really used to the whole dancing thing. As I told the dude, most people's dancing ablility is direcly correlated to blood alchohol level, and mine wasn't elevated. Also, I've seriously never danced before, at least not with non-brother guys anywhere near, much less WITH non-brother guys. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! But oh well, several key witnesses told me I did fine, and I shouldn't ever run into the dude again because he lives in Chicago, and, of course, time heals all wounds. Still, I can't stop laughing at myself, him, and the whole shebang.
After that we left, watched the skaters downtown, and took a look at Gerald Ford's memorial, which was kinda cool, first time I've ever seen a full-size general-public tribute up close like that.
GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! How am I EVER going to get to sleep again with that whole episode playing around in my mind?! It's bad enough with all my high-school memories.
Labels: Familiarities, Gripes, The Memoirs of an Amnesic Neurotic
posted by Darselo at 11:36 PM
1 Comments:
hahahaha... forgive moment of unholy glee... but thats really funny!!! it reminds me of gordons dancing lessons... for his "banquet" thing here... it was a good time to watch!!! i learned how to do it faster than he did, and i STILL suck. so join the club of "i cannot dance" youre not alone.
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