I do it to myself...

Well, here it is at 1 in the morning. I've been overthinking a few things, and I've had to do a bit of leadership, which isn't my thing, and maybe if I let it all out on here I won't get so down about it.

• First off, nobody reads this blog anymore, except me. And a one-time visitor from England who spent 1/2 hour and 5 page views on here, which was flattering. Since then, however, 9.8 out of 10 vistors have been me or have spent 0.00 minutes viewing because they were looking for the Calvin and Hobbes quote which I used for a post title once. Seriously. You wouldn't believe how many people a month are looking for that quote! From all around the world! It has definately overtaken the Ventures Christmas Album in total views elicited. Weird.
• Second, the U.S. is going to hell in a handbasket. But that's old news. We're just going a little faster now I guess. Just read the comments on any given featured YouTube video. It's just depressing. Even leaving out the idiotic things people think they need to say, the grammar and spelling is atrocious. And there's some that I know for SURE isn't on purpose. Our schools are crap. And we keep pouring money into them. Bah.
• Third, I just was reminded of how horrible Valentine's day used to be. In high school the student council offered roses for sale. Guys would buy them for a few lucky (and pretty, and skinny, or related) girls, and the student council would deliver them in class. Year after year, they would walk in, my heart would race a bit because I was stupid enough to let myself hope, and then they gave them to someone else and left the room, leaving us less fortunate ones to nurse our wounds. Then one year I actually got roses. Quite flabbergasting. Hope knew no bounds. And then I found out that it wasn't one of my many crushes, but a few of the popular girls, who had bought them for me. Out of pity, I'm pretty sure. "Let's do something nice for poor old Darselo!" Yeah. It was nice of them, but I would have rather not gotten any at all. Although in retrospect, it was actually better that it was from them, if it was from a guy I probably would never have survived the shock, and what if it was from a guy I wasn't so crazy about? Or worse, what if it was? Nowadays Valentine's isn't as excruciating, mostly because college isn't very convenient for flagrant displays of affection and showers of adoration. No lockers to leave balloons and flowers in, dontcha know. Plus, I'm alright with being single. Que sera, sera, is my attitude towards relationships.
• Fourth and final, I somehow ended up as the leader for our group research paper in my Econ class. Me, in charge of 5 boys. I'm actually finding that I don't mind leading. It means that you get things done your way, mostly because nobody else wants to take the lead, so if you do they'll just do whatever you want out of gratitude. :P Specimen #1 is great- responsive to e-mails, not afraid of work, always in class. Specimen #2 is fine as well- the same as #2, but at a less extreme level. Specimen #3 has been in class once. Seemed good enough the one time I talked to him, offered Facebook contact, doesn't respond to e-mails. Specimen #4 is small, gay, always in class, and has never responded to anything, or approached us any of the times we (me, 1, 2, and, once, 3) talked after class. So today I stepped up the bitchiness a notch (I took the liberty of assigning subtopics to us all, because if I asked them to chose for themseleves, it'd be even worse than chosing the topic, (nobody but me had anything to say, which went on until the week it was due, at which time I took action) anyways, I had to go out of my comfort level a bit and send them both "did you get my e-mails, and if so, do you have a good explanation for not responding as I clearly asked you to do?" messages. Only not in that wording, of course. It's not gonna be pretty, but at least there's three out of five of us on board. Luckily, my MGT group is really good.

It is now 1:40 am, and I do feel a little better. Tara.